The Patient
Actionfigure!Squall!, who will be referred to as just "Squall" from here on out. Has a case of DSAIS.
Backgorund
By means of a sophisticated investigation and close observation made by a group of highly trained specialists, there have been several occurrences where symptoms of Deep-Seated Antisocial Issues Syndrome (DSAIS) would surface in the patient, as noted in the following cases:
Case I: Notorious behavior towards cats, small dogs, and other domesticated household pets.
Observation notes: I tried to tell him that cats, contrary to popular belief are not dogs do not identify sharp objects as a threat. Squall made the wrong assumption that The Cat was out to steal his prized Gunblade, and attempted to confront and challenge her to a Yugioh duel. When The Cat failed to comply due to severe communication errors, Squall threatened to slay her, only to be stopped by a rolling basket ball that came from nowhere and yielded the assalt. The source of the basketball has not been identified.
Case II: Attacks against unsuspecting endangered animals.
Observation notes: Other than cries of "Whatever did Baby Shamu do to you?!", it is quite evident that Squall acts defensive towards other toys in the household, and may or may not lead to uneccesary violence.
Case III: Constant Emo-ing in a corner with Fallout Boy playing in the background. Also known as having unstable mental issues for absolutely no reason. Observation notes: Each instance is difference, though there seems to be a trend of soft weeping being heard. There is, unfortunately, no wrist-slitting involved. Zero communication between X and patient during this time period.The Fallout Boy CDs were later found to be snapped in half by an unidentifiable suspect. Attempts to carry out a thorough investigation have been rejected by court of law.
Theraputic Procedure
After a long discussion into the night, mainly to avoid tedious homework due the next day, Squall came to the decision that I, under penalty of death, should help resolve his rare and obviously-not-genetic complication (see: Laguna Loire and the Fairies, section xvi.) by exposing him to a glimpse of the real world. Of course, the closest scenario we were able to come up with within budget limits was a trip to the local rudimentary high school. In compliance, Squall has agreed to the following: no moaning, whining, bitching, mention of Squenix conspiracies, attempts to emo, contact with corners, contact with Nomura, mental breakdowns, ridiculous stances, and gunblades.
Documentation
In accordance with laws denoted by the state of Esthar and Freaking High Tech Crap, the department of Moombas & Co, as well as I-will-beat-you-if-you-take-these-images-without-permission, no photographs and articles may be taken from this section without knowlege of its original owner. Thievery will result in ass-kicking via internets and public defamation.
This is Troy, who I lent my copy of The Eight Installment to on a previous occasion. He too thinks Squall is a badass. Mesa is the girl who appears to be leaning out of the picture, but the truth is, she's trying to prevent her venereal disease from spreading to Squall.
This is orange is very happy for an obvious reason.
...He thinks fruits are failures of epic proportions.
No, really, he does. I swear.
Squall and Leo Leonidas Jesus during art class. That's right, Jesus came back just to visit Squall.
After along and hard day of dealing with the real world, Squall, sick and tired of Squenix's perpetual bullshit, he decides to give Naughty Dog a shot at Jak X (I told him things explode). Squall came to the conclusion that renegades are way cooler than metrosexual main characters of RPGs.
Detailed Analysis and Conclusion
In the time between then and now, Squall has decided that in order to suppress symptoms caused by DSAIS, he would go on regular trips with his Best Friend and hunt heartless that just happened to reside in my backyard. Or so he tells me.
Squall with his Best Friend, Cloud Strife.
Other
Squall learning to walk; 4.20 MB, .MPEG format
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